From the Bottom of Everything

(continued from previous posts) ... After standing under the "bus stop" for about 10 minutes a bus pulled up. The driver was right! Thank God he'd said something to me or I'd have been screwed...

Wait a minute....

It was the same bus and driver again.

He told me to climb aboard, he was going to take me to where I needed to go. I wanted to confirm that we both had the same final destination in mind. I showed him the address of the Holiday Inn. He didn't know where that was. He pulled out his map, I pulled out my map. He said he once saw a hotel "here" and "here" he pointed out. I asked if either was a Holiday Inn, he said maybe. Ok, now we're getting somewhere. I kept asking which bus stop would connect me with a bus that went "here". Eventually he/we decided that I needed to be back at the stop I was originally at. I stepped off the bus and headed back.

Upon returning to the stop there was about a dozen people from Opportunity Partners waiting around. That must mean a bus was coming soon. Yes.

Eventually a bus did come, in fact two of them. Neither were the route I wanted. All the other people boarded one of the buses. About 20 minutes passed and finally another bus stopped. It was labeled "12C" I needed 12. The bus driver asked if I was waiting for the bus. "Yes" I replied. "Then get on, this is the bus for you." Having heard this before (although being able to understand it much more clearly now) I was skeptical. I told her I needed the 12. She said this was and she just hadn't changed her display yet. Whew. That was close.

I boarded the bus and waited about 10 minutes while she had her cigarette break. Then we were off. I knew my ride would be short (<10 minutes according to my planner) so I was alert to when my stop might come up. For some reason this driver wasn't calling out the stops. That's fine, I figured I could spot a Holiday Inn from a mile away.

Of course, I was wrong. We went by several other hotels that gave me false alarms before I finally actually missed my stop. The hotel had a large script "H" on it. I knew for a fact that a Hilton was in the area. I also know that Hyatt exists. Large script "H" does not equal Holiday Inn to me. Maybe it should. As we were going past my hotel I recognized the address on the side "10985", which I'd committed to memory at this point.

"What stop was that?" I asked.
"What do you mean stop?" replied the driver.
"What stop was that?" I was dumbfounded as to how rephrase the question. Buses stop at things called bus stops. The stops are named so that you can know where you are going. Otherwise everyone would get on and say "take me to the bus stop" and then someone's head would explode and the earth would cease to exist as we know it. This almost happened that day.

"This is Red Circle Drive, but that's the road not the stop." The driver said.
"OK, I think that was my stop back there, let me off at the next place you can stop."
"The next stop is around the corner a ways down." She said.
"Just let me off here please." I pleaded as she kept driving.

I exited the bus 1/2 mile downhill of where I needed to be.

Labels: heads explode, live blog, mass transit, minnesota, trip

(continued from parts 1 and 2) ... Long-grey-haired-dude had finally gotten off the bus and I was left to sit in peace. Well, at least outer peace. Inside I was freaking out because we were getting farther and farther away from anything that looked like civilization and I didn't know when I was supposed to get off because I couldn't understand a goddamn thing the driver was saying. As we got farther and farther into suburbia there were fewer and fewer people on the bus which also made me a bit nervous. Eventually I was the only person on the bus. Then I heard the driver mutter something that sounded like "Opportunity Partners". Yes, I think this is my stop. I rang the "Request Stop" bell like I'd never rung it before, because of course, I hadn't.

When I got off I was greeted by several other people at the stop which I thought was odd considering so middle-of-nowhere we were. In the next few minutes I found out a few interesting things: One- Opportunity Partners was one of those places that hires mentally handicapped individuals to do work. Two- It was quitting time for them. Three- My bus driver's English was just as bad "in person" as over the intercom.

So there I was, standing at the bus stop, large duffel bag and laptop case in hand, at about 3:20pm. This stop was apparently a break spot for the bus drivers and mine got out and had some yogurt. During this time I was questioned by one lady from opportunity partners as to what I was doing there, since I must have looked out of place. I told her I was waiting for the #12 bus, to which she informed me "this is" as she signaled to the bus I'd just gotten off of. For some reason, I believed her and questioned the driver.

He confirmed that yes, in fact this was the #12 bus. I told him "Isn't this #12C", to which he replied "Yes". So now I was defying space and time and on two different buses at once. Sympathetic to my situation (bless his soul for trying) the driver tried to help me figure out where I needed to be. I made the mistake of agreeing with him when he asked if I was "going that way". Once he knew where I was going ("that way") he told me the bus I wanted actually stopped around the corner, not at this stop. I said OK and started heading around the corner.

Since there was a foot or so of snow on the ground I had to walk on the street because the sidewalk wasn't clear. I can only imagine how homeless I looked.

I rounded the corner and found nothing. Wait, no, there was a bus stop sign. No bench, no place to stand, just a bus stop sign, snow, and the side of a building. Feeling my hands ready to draw my phone quick-draw style and dial a cab I stood under the "bus stop".

It was cold, really cold, and I began to contemplate whether I could survive the night outside.

Labels: mass transit, minnesota, trip

(continued from previous posts) ...So I boarded my bus and sat down. It was warm. It was noisy. It would be my home for the next hour. I was happy.

Being your average American, I've never rode mass transit before so I was trying to learn what was going on. The bus driver would announce a stop and if someone wanted it they'd pull the cord to signal him to actually stop, otherwise he'd keep going. I knew from my trip planner that I had about an hour's ride ahead of me so I wasn't worried. Then it started. The driver would announce stops but I had no freakin' idea what the hell he was saying. He spoke horrible, broken, Asian-accented, English. Great. Well at least my stop sounded unique "Opportunity Partners" would be hard to mistake for "6th Ave".

At one of the stops a rather talkative long-grey-haired-dude (which he will forever be known as to me) sat next to me. He began quizzing me on my dell laptop case. Where did I get such a case? he wondered. Probably online, I said, it's actually my work laptop case so I don't know. Can you buy things online with money orders? He inquired. Probably not everywhere I said.
"I'm still trying to figure out that internet thing." he said "I've got a friend who's gonna teach me, but he's in England. God knows when he's getting back."
At this point this conversation was officially over for me. I am not about to explain something as abstract to the internet to a random long-grey-haired-dude who doesn't seem to be totally with it. "Yeah, there's a whole other world on the net." I said and immediately tuned him out. He went on to talk about God knows what, but all I heard was "hecajuc av" from our bus driver which I had no idea what it was supposed to mean.

I'm going to take a break and walk around downtown Hopkins, maybe snap some pics. When I get back you'll get to hear about how I met up with a small army of mentally handicapped individuals and finally broke through the language barrier. Stay tuned.

Labels: long grey haired dude, mass transit, minnesota, trip

Arriving in the twin cities at about 12:30pm (central time) on Wednesday, I knew I had an adventure waiting for me. I'd decided to forgo a $35 taxi from the airport to my hotel and take mass transit instead. From their site, Minneapolis appears to have a great mass transit system. Indeed, they do, the problem was that my hotel, the airport and the route of the buses form a triangle--not the most efficient shape.

My trip began on the Hiawatha Route 55 light rail system. This part was awesome. Really fast, smooth, and clearly announced station stops (more on that later). The train took me from the airport to downtown Minneapolis. Getting off the train I made about three circles in place to get my bearings. It was no use. Without mountains to guide me I was lost in finding directions (digital compasses on cell phones should be the next big thing).

Thanks to the magic of Google maps Streetview you can see exactly what I saw here. Once there click on the steetview of the location and spin around in place. You'll see a train parked and farther left of that the bus stops.

I wandered across the street to a bus stop which I presumed to be the one I wanted. Then I spotted a bus stop across the street. Which one did I need?

I asked a passerby / street person (he lingered in the area for most of my duration there). He had no idea which routes ran on which sides. Don't do drugs kids.

After about 15 minutes (did I mention the high was 8 degrees on Wednesday?) of waiting a man passed by and asked me if I knew which bus just passed by. Of course I knew (the #6) since I'd been watching the buses like a hawk waiting for mine to pass me by on the other side of the street (and also secretly hoping that would happen so I had an excuse to call a cab). So I asked this man which side the 12C ran on. He said the other side. I went to the other side and boarded the 12C about 15 minutes later. And that's when things got interesting...

Labels: live blog, mass transit, minnesota, trip

This is the first of my "live from Minnesota" series. I've decided to tell everyone how my trip is going as it is happening, so here you go. Here's what I'm having for lunch at Camille's Cafe in Hopkins, MN. It's the California Chicken Panini and it's pretty good. What's that in the background, why that's a Blueberry Cozumel smoothie and 7th street in Hopkins. For those of you following along at home, here's where I am in the world. As soon as I finish my lunch I'll dive into my 3 hour bus ride from the airport to my hotel. I'll give you a hint: it was cold.

Labels: live blog, minnesota, trip